What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What happened to the American Russell Bentley from Texas that was fighting for the pro-Russian commies?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

What are some possible reasons for an unfaithful spouse to not confess their affair to their partner and instead end it without telling them?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Why is the covert narcissist actively avoiding me when they see me everyday?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What would happen if the Soviet Union had simply annexed Manchuria after World War 2 or kept it independent as a puppet state allied them and separate from China as China was too weak too oppose it anyway?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Is it possible to permanently quit pornography?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Do empaths fall easier for abusive people?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

TEXT:

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

When British people write X after everything, are they being serious or trying not to be awkward?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Why does Russia and many parts of Eastern Europe strangely have a high percentage of female doctors and physicians (~70%)?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Make Nazis afraid again!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

What do men find attractive in an older woman?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

What it is like to have sex with a relative woman?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What is it like to have an insanely beautiful girlfriend?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...